the louderARTS Project

Mike McGee

Mike McGee was born with Spina Bifida in Fort Campbell, Kentucky and Tennessee, and writes and performs all over the world. He discovered a love of words at the age of three, but didn't write poetry until the age of twenty-three. In 2003, he won the National Poetry Slam Individual Grand Championship in Chicago, then in 2006 he won the Individual World Poetry Slam Championship in Charlotte, N.C., becoming the first person to attain both titles.

Mike has a mighty appetite, an uncanny relationship with ladybugs, several tattoos and siblings, and a passable Scottish accent. He breathes somewhere between Silicon Valley, California and Vancouver, B.C. as often as possible. Mike thoroughly enjoys weather, beverages, and the scent of mock orange blossoms in the spring.


www.mikemcgee.net




Geez, Us!

I was hanging out with Jesus the other day
He had just gotten beaten up by some pro-lifers
He called them anti-lovers and wished them luck
He was wearing a Gandhi mask when it happened
He had originally planned to wear a Thomas Jefferson mask
but nobody knows who that guy is anymore

We drank some grape Kool-Aid on His balcony
and watched the sun go down beyond Los Angeles
I asked Him what it was like to die
He said it was His favorite out all of His Dad's art projects
Death is so quick compared to life
because it's just that awesome

I asked Jesus what He liked about today
and it took Him too long to respond
I dozed off and dreamt of four men on Shetland ponies
riding around, breaking windows
They were the Four Midgets of the Apocalypse
They burned down miniature golf courses
and stabbed people below the waist

Jesus woke me up and presented me with an omlette
which was delicious!
As any evening breakfast would be
when made by the Son of Man

I told Him that He seemed like the cool older brother I never had
He thought that was cool and asked me to stop masturbating so much

I told Him that everyday I feel a certain sense of unexplainable lonliness
he said it was because I spend too much time alone
I pondered that for a moment while He topped off my Kool-Aid

His apartment was decorated with film posters from movies
that told His story in some way
Last Temptation Of Christ
Jesus Christ Superstar
and Repo Man
Willem Dafoe signed one of them
He spoke well of Willem Dafoe
But He didn't own a DVD player or the DVDs in order to watch those films
I asked Him why and He said
that most of them are misunderstandings of His life
and the rest of them...well, he was there for

I had the feeling that the human part of Him wants to be forgotten
but the Heavenly side is anxious to introduce everyone to His Dad
I asked Him why He moved to L.A.
He said it was the hidden beauty
That having to search for the good
meant that when it was found
it had to be authentic
He also pointed out that L.A. is one of the few places
a man dressed like Him in public can still go unnoticed

We watched Mexican television
and He interpreted all of the game shows and soap operas
It was late and He said I could take the couch
which would have put Him on the floor
I took the balcony instead

In the morning He woke me to another omlette
this time wrapped in a big flour tortilla
I wasn't hungry, so He wrapped up and put it in a bag
He said I should eat it later
then He asked me to shave His head
I felt uncomfortable
He said it was okay
and that His strength came from somewhere else
He just wanted to fit in with the rest of us

I shaved His head
and wandered home
Later that afternoon, while riding the bus with L.A.'s maids
I noticed one of His hairs stuck to my collar
If I had a girlfriend, and she found it before me
she might wonder who it came from
but I don't
and she can't
and so she won't

I just sat on the bus and wondered to myself

I pulled out the breakfast burrito
and birthed it from its aluminum foil
I noticed a face burned into the tortilla
a simple accident or miracle for me to enjoy
I immediately knew I couldn't share it with anyone else
I wondered how often Jesus
promoted himself on food items
The Lower East Side in New York gets a new Starbucks
East L.A. gets a Jesus statue
that cries and bleeds French vanilla flavored coffee creamer

I ate my Jesus burrito neck first
and smiled once I realized
that it was actually the face of Willem Dafoe

© Mike McGee



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