the louderARTS Project

Rob Neill

Rob Neill grew up in a small farm town in Wisconsin that currently has fewer people in it than live on his block in Hells Kitchen. He started slamming in Chicago and was on the 1995 Green Mill Slam Team and then 2000 Hollywood team. Having toured and featured around the country he is happy to be staying in New York for the most part, attempting to supplement his life as a writer in the lucrative field of commercial acting. This last winter he published two books 'Call me Flower' and 'Corrupt Me' and a CD 'Small Town Clown'--which are, of course, available for your enjoyment from the author.

robneill@earthlink.net




How Evil is He?

Saddam Hussein is an evil bad man.
Saddam is so evil, he . . .

He's the one that hid your missing keys.
He polluted all the 7 seas.
He cheated at Chuckie Cheese-you know
at the skee ball, having his Saddam doubles drop
the ball in the middle hole a lot, and then
he went crazy on 'wacka-mole'-bop bop bop,
He's so evil.

Saddam Hussein is so evil;
He split up Tom and Nicole.
He fixed American Idol.
He makes your windows dirty.
He's clearly over 30.
He's ol' school evil.

Saddam Hussein is so evil
In Utah, he brainwashed that Smart girl;
He poisoned the last whippoorwill daffodil or buffalo or Mohican
or my good friend Kevin in Brooklyn.
He's an evil, evil man

He tried to jump the Grand Canyon like Mr. Keneval,
He infested the south with anthrax weevils.
You missed that--Saddam's no Tivo
He's evil.

Saddam is so evil
He drew his sword to fight the bombs
He burned up all Iraqi palm trees and oil fields and let loose
the Tigris to flood the plain, oh wait that did not happen.
But he did destroy your brand new Abrams M1A1 tank;
And make all his people loot the museums
He's Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom evil.

Hussein rhymes with membrane, freight train
acid rain, dead crane, down the drain, drury lane, airplane, insane
he must be crazy so crazy he's evil

So evil, he made your head hurt when you ate ice cream too fast,
So evil he made you forget the past, now you're doomed to repeat it.
So evil he brought Urban Cowboy-the musical to Broadway.
So evil he sent Whitney and Bobbie to the Middle East for peace.
Ya don't say? He thinks about all this and laughs each day.
Evil laughs. Ahh Ha HAA!

Saddam is so evil
He made you miss the bus, see
He made the train leave early
He's the one that stole your weed.
And made you forget history now you're doomed to repeat . . .
Shit, I said that

Saddam's so evil.
Have him over for dinner, he'll shock and awe you every time.
Give him a dollar, he won't give you back a dime.
He gave my grandmother Alzheimer's;
He trapped all those coal miners
in Pennsylvania;
He's a Maniac, Maniac
I sure know

He secretly funds the KKK;
He wrote God bless Dictators in Berets-the essay.
I won't say that he shot Jam Master Jay or JFK or took out Lady Di
But I know he smiles evil smiles under that moustache when he's hiding miles deep underground with Osama, or Osama's mamma, in their pajamas,
dreaming of the Bahamas dreaming of dolphins
dreaming of power boating with his sons
on the Red Sea, listening to smooth jazz-'You give me evil; eee.vee.iiiii.l.'
Saddam Hussein is so evil
He made George Bush give up Jack Daniels for Jesus Christ.
Please, we need leaders to lead us with less unquestioning faith
and more universal understating. Less glad handing, reprimamanding, grandstanding,
demanding we see the world as black and white, wrong or right, good vs. evil.

Saddam may have done some bad things, even evil,
but too many people in this country believe that he was directly involved in 9-11.
Saddam equals Osama.
What kind of math is that?
All that proves is that we are a nation of people who can't tell one Arab from another.
'You give me evil;
eee.vee.iiii.l.'



© Rob Neill



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